Ok, got the picture? Good. I'm going to go through a few of the games in the series, both for the sake of knowledge and for the sake of hilarity.


A brief overview: Cho Aniki started as a series in Japan in 1992 releasing on the PC-Engine system (thats turbografix for you red-blooded Americans). Cho Aniki roughly translates to "Super Big Brothers" and in Japan these games are examples of baka-ge, a type of kuso-ge. "Bake-ge" literally means idiot game and "Kuso-ge" translates to either shit game or crappy game. Most of the series' games are side scroller shooters like Gradius or R-Type. Baka-ge's appeal lies in its campness. Indisputably, the game's aesthetic sense — semi-nude men in suggestive homo erotic poses — is a unique one, certainly a quality that has given the series a cult popularity among Western gamers. Though the graphics are more risqué than pornographic, the series references homosexuality and gay sex more directly and more often than perhaps any other video game series in history.

The Story involves two strapping men who fly sideways and shoot "protein" at enemies. yes protein, not semen. OK OK! So it is semen! One of the highlights of the first game is a hugs boss that is nothing but a giant ear of corn with a penis. You think I am making this shit up, believe me... i am not.

The game that is featured in broken pixels is called Chō Aniki: Kyūkyoku Muteki Ginga Saikyō Otoko, which translates to "The Ultimate, Invincible, Most Galactically Powerful Man.". It is the 3rd game in the series and it is a fighting game. here are some of the characters you can fight as...

* Idaten, a warrior with long spiked hair who uses a variety of attacks with his body
* Benten, who in this game is flanked by two cherubs who can transform into mini-hunks
* Samson/Adon, attacks by gyrating and flatulating.
* Sabu, a pagoda-shaped ship with an Elvis Presley-looking figurehead
* Mami 19, a strange amalgam of a cute girl and a battleship transporting three naked, frolicking men
* Adam, a naked man riding in half a moon. He is intended to resemble Adam from the The Creation of Adam portion of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel.
* Uminin, an odd latex creature that resembles a condom

So there you have it! what more could you ask for? i think nothing. Ok well next week there will be another wierd game, look forward with eager anticipation!

at the time of this writing, i am sitting freezing at Baja Fresh eating my lunch. (a frilled chicken burrito, for those who care)

I've been listening to Harry Potter Audio books all morning at work, so i don't know if anything has happened in the world of games today. But i do know that Gran Turismo 5 Prologue comes out today for the Playstation 3, which is nice. It has been called a "glorified demo" in many previews but I say bollocks. I LOVE ME SOME GRAN TURISMO! The cars are so detailed that it makes my tv want to explode with awesomeness. There is a new cockpit view in this release that shows the driver shifting and even doing heel-toe gear shifts. I'm sure the experience is similar to riding in the car with Michael Shaner, which is awesome.

anyway I have included a video showing of some in cockpit views, but the youtube quality does not do this game any sort of justice. i saw it at walmart on a big 1080p screen and i almost wet myself.

enjoy
Bdr

The above video is proof NES games can be balls hard. And i mean BALLS HARD. I remember playing this game at Robert Barber's house when i was a kid and we never got past the first cavern level. And that was before the jet bike sequence! so last night in traditional fashion i busted out the Dreamcast NES disc and tried to play again. (keyword: tried)

I died 185 times on the bike scene.
185 times.
Let that sink in for a minute.

Now i am no slouch when it comes to games, (except when i get my ass handed to me by my friend Joe in Marvel Vs Capcom 2) but 185 times? that was with a GAME GENIE FOR GOD'S SAKE! In all honesty I'm not saying that games should be easy (i.e. BIOSHOCK) but ruthless and visceral cruelty is somewhat out of line.

So in this inaugural post of tough games tuesday, I rate this game an 8.5 on the hardness scale, this game is fun but boy is it brutal!

Hardness 8.5 (hardened steel)


ps- i will try to blog once a day and i promise that after this one they will be longer!

bdr

Here's whats in the current systems (systems i'm not playing are left out)
PSP- Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7
PS2- Soul Caliber 3
Wii- Super Smash Bros Brawl!
DC- Ikaruga

So now that i am in the full swing, I guess that i want to talk about Dan Hsu leaving 1up this week. I am obsessed with the podcasts that 1up puts out every week an I base a lot of my gaming purchases on the reviews of those from the 1up network. let me just say, this sucks butt. Dan was the single greatest B-grade internet celebrity achievement whore the world had ever known. i mean this guy would pour hours and hours into a crappy game like Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer for a measly 15 achievement points. What the hell? that has to be borderline masochistic.
On a somewhat lighter note, he wrote one of the greatest blog posts i have read in recent memory, all about what it takes to get into the games industry (which i hope to do one day, i will link to it at the bottom). All in all, Dan you will be greatly missed, that is until you show up as a rep for bungie.

Dan Hsu's how to get paid for writing about games...

The amount of gaming knowledge in my head is sickening. I mean seriously, I am a weirdo. So this will be my blog if you want to hear about what I have to say concerning games and the the gaming life. You are the audience, buckle up…

bdr